Suzanne Britts Sloppy People vs Neat People
“Neat People vs. Sloppy People” appears in Britt’s collection show and tell. Mingling humor with seriousness (as she often does), Britt has called the book a report on her journey into “the awful cave of self: You shout your name and voices come back in exultant response, telling you their names.” In this essay about curtain inescapable personality traits, you may recognize some aspects of your own self, awful or otherwise. For a different approach to a similar subject, see the next essay, by Dave Barry.
I’ve finally figured out the difference between neat people and sloppy people. The distinction is, as always, moral. Neat people are lazier and meaner than sloppy people. Sloppy people, you see, are not really sloppy. Their
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All adds, catalogs, pleas for charitable organization, church bulletins and money saving coupons go straight to the trashcan without being opened. All letters form home, postcards from Europe, bills and paychecks are opened, immediately responded to, then dropped into the trashcan. Neat people keep their receipt only for tax purposes. That’s it. No sentimental salvaging of birthday cards or the last letter a dying relative ever wrote. Into thrash it goes. Neat people place neatness above everything, even economics. They are incredibly wasteful. Neat people throw away several toys every time they walk through a den. I knew neat person once who threw away a perfectly good dish drainer because it had mold on it. The drainer was too much trouble to wash. And neat people sell their furniture when they move. They will sell a La-Z-Boy recliner while you are reclining in it.
Neat people are no good to borrow from. Neat people buy everything in expensive little proportions. They get their flour and sugar and two-pound bags. They wouldn’t consider clipping coupons, saving a leftover, reusing plastic nondairy whipped cream container or rinsing off tin foil and draping it over the unmoldy dish drainer. You can never borrow a neat person’s newspaper to see what’s playing at the movies. Near people have the paper all wadded up and in the trash by 7:5 A.M.
Neat people cut a clean swath through the organic as well as the inorganic